Reality

The other day I was getting on to post another fun week of themes and reality settled in. I had truly only a few minutes before Isaac was into our computer wires or Vivi was getting up from her "rest" time in her room (which lately is time I have her in her room with a childproof lock on the inside so she doesn't roam the house!). This is my crazy life right now. So I get on to post some beautiful pictures and after searching for 30 minutes or so and calling Nick to blame him for relocating them on the hard drive, reality settles in. I have erased pictures before I downloaded them. It's totally my fault. This sets me into a downward spiral of failure as a mom. I spent so much time trying to make our time fun and capture it perfectly...but I'm not perfect. I mess up all the time. This of course, is after losing it on my daughter for peeing in the laundry room through her last set of underwear (after all weekend long peeing through underwear in public, in our home, outside, etc. and her telling me she did it because she doesn't want to use the potty!). So...I felt the need to post this lesson that God has been teaching me lest I deceive anyone into thinking I've got anything figured out! Friends, God has really been working my heart in the area of motives and I have realized my motives are so often impure. God says He loves a "cheerful giver" and I believe unfortunately so much of what I do is not out of the overflow of His love for me but some selfish motive. On top of that, I have realized I am measuring so much of my worth as a mom based on my kids performance. YUCK!! Pride at it's worst. Basically, when they are acting out I feel like a failure and when they are behaving well I feel really good about myself. Fortunately, we love and serve a gracious God who doesn't judge us on our performance. This is the "true" reality and I am so grateful!